Navigating Final Wishes with Grace and Wisdom

The following blog is by Mark Morris. #grandparents

The new year is well underway, and hopefully all of the things that we have started out to do we are still in the process of doing. I hope all of that rearranging and decluttering and re-organizing of everything is coming along at a good pace. One of my goals this year, as I stated earlier, was to organize my books. The problem I have is when I am sorting my books, I find one that looks really interesting and I stop and read it. This takes me several days to get back to my organizing, and then I end up liking that author, and I try to find some more books of his to purchase online. It looks like my book collection will continue to grow, but I will try to get it organized.

As most of you know, we started raising our grandchildren over 15 years ago when their dad who was our son was tragically murdered, and it has been an adventure. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to have this experience. We have spent the last several years trying to put so many positives into their life that it will wash the negatives out.

So, today, I’d like to go into an area that may be a little difficult, but I personally believe it is a discussion that is needed. When I retired I started working part time at the local funeral home. This has opened my eyes to an area of need that I considered to be vitally important.

It is the area of our final wishes. I realize it’s a very difficult subject, but if Jesus doesn’t come back, and we are taken in the rapture as those who are alive and remain, then we will be a part of those who are in the grave and rise first.

Working at the funeral home I have seen many people in times of distress have confusion, not having direction and many times they have no idea of what their loved ones’ wishes were.

Today very briefly I’d like to cover a few things on this subject that I think will make it easier on your loved ones especially the grandchildren that are a part of your life.

In the area where I live in Southwest Missouri, the average funeral expenses is $10,000-$12,000. That’s a lot of money to a senior citizen. Especially one who has had the burdens of raising their families and are now raising their grandchildren. If a traditional funeral seems out of reach then what a lot of people are doing today is optioning for cremation. In this area, cremation cost approximately $1,800.

Currently close to 40% of the funerals in our area are cremation.

If you are concerned about what your family is going to do, there are a few options that you can explore. A prepaid funeral is either done through an insurance policy that is payable to the funeral home or a trust through the funeral home. These are purchased at the funeral home and regulated by the federal government for your security. You can also pay for parts of the funeral, such as choosing your vault or casket, and pre-paying for this part.

I believe the advantage to having a prepaid funeral is that you choose the casket and the vault, and you determine who preaches your funeral, who sings for your funeral, and where you want to be buried as well as many other things.

Another option is what is called insurance assignment. This option is where you assign a portion of your life insurance to the funeral home for the cost of the funeral and that is done through the beneficiary that is designated with the insurance company.

Don’t take it for granite that your family knows who you want to preach your funeral and who you want to sing and all of the other details.

I think it’s important that you consider where you want to be buried. I have seen many people come in and not have any idea where grandpa and grandma wants to be buried because they felt like they did not want to talk about this subject and no one wanted to bring it up.

Also, if you have the means I would recommend that you go ahead and purchase your plot and even get the grave marker that you desire. I witnessed in my own life when my father passed away suddenly that my mother wrestled with this for a long time, spending so much of her energies, trying to figure out things such as grave markers. I realize this is a hard subject and not one that we like to sit around and talk about, but if Jesus doesn’t come back shortly, our age group will face this inevitable event. So, please if we are doing everything we can to make our grandchildren’s life easier for them why not make this part of life easier for them as well.

I hope this is not too negative of a subject, but I’m trying to make it easier for them when I am gone.

God bless. Till next time